Only For The Brave

Only for the brave who love to laugh. I do not know who put this list together but it made me laugh just thinking about it.

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice!

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions,Switch to Espresso.

5.. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana.

6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get..

7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

9. Sing Along At The Opera.

10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity

14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.

Think about sharing this E-mail with someone to make them SMILE...It's called Smile Therapy!

I am BACK

Well after a long time away from this blog and many, many changes in my life I am back.

I will be trying to post here on a regular basis and look forward to hearing from all of you again.

Anyone that is subscribed to this blog that has a website they want feature in "The Places I Hang Out" on the sidebar send me the link to your website and I will take a look at it.

To all of you that emailed and asked when I would start posting again thank you for the encouragement and here we go again.

Thanks
Bo

The Cherry Tree

A Hopi father lined up all of his little sons and stood in front of them.
He then asked, "Who pushed the outhouse over the cliff?"

Nobody answered him.

He then asked again, "Who pushed the outhouse over the cliff?" ...again nobody answered.

The Hopi father said, "I'll tell you a story of George and George's father. George chopped down the cherry tree. George told the truth, Big George didn’t punish George.”

So the father asked again, "Who pushed the outhouse over the cliff?"

The littlest son replied, "I pushed the outhouse over the cliff."

The Hopi father then punishes his son. When he is done, the little kid asks, "George told the truth and didn’t get punished. I tell the truth, I get punished. Why, father?"

The Hopi father replied, "Big George was not in the cherry tree when it got chopped down!!!"

The Power of A Badge

DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas , and talks with an old rancher.

He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."

The rancher says, "Okay , but do not go in that field over there," as he points out the location. 

The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, " Mister,  I have the authority of the Federal Government with me."  

Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the rancher.  

"See this badge?  This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land.  No questions asked or answers given.  Have I made myself clear?  Do you understand? " 

The rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores. 

A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull...... 
 
With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he'll get gored  before he reaches safety.  The officer is clearly terrified.

The rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs..... 

" Your badge.. Show him your BADGE ! "